Bonus Episode 4: Performance Review
We hope you enjoy our midseason bonus episodes! This one is a glimpse into what happened during Dr Underwood’s 1000% professional performance review.
Transcript
SOUND: DOOR TO XAELEST’S ROOM OPENS
FAYE Hi! Sorry, I didn’t want to knock because I’m a bit early and I didn’t know if you’d have a patient in. Did you want a tea because -
XAEL [Not showing her amusement] Come in.
FAYE Thanks.
SOUND: Footsteps, chair, door closes
XAELEST Sit down, Faye.
FAYE Right. Thanks.
SOUND: Chair, clicking and typing
FAYE Where’s Computer?
XAELEST [darkly] Muted.
FAYE Oh.
[They fall into a brief silence]
XAELEST We have to conduct your first performance review today - what?
FAYE Nothing! [Beat] I’m nervous.
XAELEST We’ll keep it brief, I’m sure you’re busy.
FAYE That actually doesn’t make me feel less nervous.
XAELEST How do you think your first half-orbit has gone?
FAYE Uh, I mean? Alright? I think - ? Like, obviously I still have loads to learn but, um, I think I’m managing more things independently now compared to when I first started?
XAELEST Mhm.
SOUND: typing
XAELEST Do you have your stats?
FAYE Uh?
XAELEST I didn’t think so.
SOUND: clicking
XAELEST In the last half orbit, you have reviewed 425 patients, of which, I have access to 424 patient letters. Since we’re short on time, I’ll attach the demographic breakdown to the file for you to review later.
Any idea what happened to the missing letter?
FAYE Uh, no, sorry - I - ? Do you read all of them?
XAELEST Do you think I have time to read all of your letters?
FAYE Well, no, but -
XAELEST You’re certain you can’t remember missing a case? Are you up to date this morning?
FAYE Yeah - I - yeah? I think so.
XAELEST Certain?
SOUND: clicking
FAYE Mhm. Yeah.
XAELEST Let me know as soon as possible if you remember. You do understand the importance of keeping on top of this correspondence, Faye?
SOUND: clicking
FAYE Of course. I’m sorry - I really don’t know what that could be.
XAELEST Here are the targets we set in your induction meeting. How do you feel that you’re getting on with them?
FAYE Um, well, I do feel that I’ve been able to see a wider variety of different patients since moving out here which has been great. Like -
XAELEST The star whale.
FAYE Yeah!
XAELEST We’ll come on to that.
FAYE [Nervous] Okay.
XAELEST I can see that you’ve been reflecting on your consultations with low volume patient populations as expected.
FAYE Yeah, I’ve been trying to keep up to date.
SOUND: typing
XAELEST I think these could be more succinct. And, of course, while it’s important to reflect on the [she pauses, finding the word] emotional impact of cases, this is meant to be an educational log. Your external review board will be more interested in your reading on Ceresaurian Inhaled Medication Legislation, than they are in how ‘cool’ you find epidermal constellation maps.
FAYE [Embarrassed] Right, yeah, of course.
XAELEST You said you wanted to improve your procedural skills.
FAYE Yes!
XAELEST And?
FAYE Yeah! Um, I think I’ve been working on them? The, um -
XAELEST Star whale?
FAYE Yeah.
XAELEST We’ll come on to that.
FAYE [More nervous] Okay.
SOUND: typing
XAELEST And you wanted the opportunity to engage with research.
FAYE Ah, yeah.
XAELEST And, how is that research coming along?
FAYE Well, I mean, you already know -
SOUND: clicking
XAELEST We have to write something. What are the barriers do you think to completing research?
FAYE Um, I mean, it’s quite busy? The clinic. Even, like, a simple presentation can actually take up quite a lot of time because we do all the work-up ourselves. I think - um - obviously there was a period of settling in too.
SOUND: typing
FAYE Um, and I think because we’re running a service across the whole day cycle, there’s definitely an element of not wanting to start other work because you don’t know when your rest is going to be interrupted.
SOUND: typing
XAELEST I think you should formally reflect on that. And remove it as a target for the next review.
FAYE Uh, yeah? Okay.
XAELEST You can still do research if you actually do want to. You have to convince Rai of that, though, not me.
FAYE [Small laugh] True.
SOUND: clicking
XAELEST Stars, right. This part of the form is . . . Do you have any health declarations to make?
FAYE No.
XAELEST On a scale of one to ten, how are you at the moment?
FAYE Um - I don’t know?
XAELEST [Reading] You may wish to consider: how has the period since your last review has impacted on you? Have you needed any support, and was the help you needed available? How have you maintained your health and wellbeing, and what do you need, or wish, to do differently, if anything? How could the The Vesta Clinic support your wellbeing?
FAYE I’m fine?
XAELEST I need a number.
FAYE Uhhh, six?
XAELEST [Disbelief] Six is fine?
FAYE Six is fine!
XAELEST Six is -
FAYE Seven, then.
XAELEST Seven I will accept. What would you need to actually be a seven?
SOUND: typing
FAYE Um, you to tell me what the issue with the star whale is?
XAELEST We’re getting to it!
[Pause]
FAYE I am fine.
[Pause]
SOUND: typing
SOUND: clicking
XAELEST Okay. You’ve had some positive patient feedback. I’ll attach the summary, but it’s just what I’ve told you about previously.
SOUND: typing
XAELEST The themes generally regard your listening skills and ability to make patients feel comfortable.
SOUND: typing
FAYE Thanks.
XAELEST Yes. Well done. There was one piece of particularly scathing feedback -
FAYE Oh, Mr Houndsworth -
XAELEST Who?
FAYE The guy with the fuck-ff- oh! Stars! Um, I mean - massive worm up his arse.
XAELEST Aren’t you glad Computer isn’t transcribing this professional review?
FAYE Ah, yes. Sorry.
XAELEST A fair proportion of his complaint was related to the clinic itself rather than you specifically, so I’m going to leave it off your record.
FAYE Oh - really? I mean . . . thank you. Who has to deal with that in their review, then?
XAELEST [As though she is dumb] Me, Faye.
SOUND: clicking
XAELEST You haven’t been named in any significant incidents.
FAYE None that I know of.
XAELEST Keep it that way.
FAYE [Laugh]
SOUND: clicking
XAELEST Okay. I need a least two targets for our next review in a quarter orbit.
FAYE Yes, um -
XAELEST I noticed from the patient demographic data that you seem to be choosing human patients preferentially over non-human patients.
FAYE Really?
XAELEST You might have a subconscious bias. While I don’t think you’re discriminating, I think you’re reluctant to step out of an obvious comfort zone.
FAYE What if there are just more humans -
XAELEST I’ve compared against the total clinic admissions per population.
FAYE [Of course she did] Ah. Okay. Yeah. Can’t argue with that!
SOUND: Typing
XAELEST So you’ll aim to see more non-human patients to maximise learning opportunities. What else?
FAYE It’s hard when we can’t talk about the largest upcoming learning opportunity.
XAELEST You’re referencing NOSL11.
FAYE Yeah. Obviously, I understand why, but I feel like a lot of all of our development is focused on zir case.
XAELEST Whatever you chose as a target, you need to be able to evidence.
FAYE Yeah. Um . . . I’d like to . . . Um. Well, oh! There’s, um, the next Solar Group for Interspecies Medicine Conference is coming to Titan in - well, I can’t remember the exact date - but it’s in the next half-orbit. I was hoping I - or we - could go.
XAELEST Fine.
SOUND: Typing
XAELEST Anything else?
FAYE I would like to teach?
[Long pause, it seems that Xaelest is uncomfortable with the idea of being taught by Faye]
FAYE Students! If we ever get any.
XAELEST Oh! Good.
SOUND: Typing, clicking
XAELEST Fine. Satisfactory or outstanding?
FAYE For? Sorry? I mean -
XAELEST For your overall performance.
FAYE Satisfactory?
XAELEST Faye.
FAYE Yes?
XAELEST The only time I truly doubt your performance is in your ability to accurately determine it.
FAYE I don’t understand.
XAELEST Have you not demonstrated your ability to manage your patients independently? Balancing clinical judgement, procedural skills and accurate, contemporaneous documentation with subsequent reflection?
FAYE Uh?
XAELEST The star whale, Faye.
FAYE Oh. Oh! Right. I mean - that was just one case though.
XAELEST I’m going to put outstanding.
FAYE Okay.
SOUND: clicking
XAELEST Anything else?
FAYE No! No. Are we - ?
SOUND: clicking, completion sound
XAELEST Done.
FAYE Right. I’ll just -
SOUND: chair
XAELEST Yes.
FAYE Uh, thank you.
XAELEST You’re welcome. Do try and find that missing letter, won’t you?
FAYE Uh, yeah, I’ll ask Sec if he knows.
SOUND: footsteps
XAELEST And - if you ever hit a 5.9, I want to know.
FAYE [Laugh] I don’t think -
XAELEST [Firm] I want to know.
SOUND: doors opening
FAYE Okay. And vice versa, of course.
XAELEST Enjoy your afternoon clinic, Dr Underwood. Call me if you need me.
