27. Dark Orbit Blood Letter
Patient: Grey Moon Low Horizon Kawsenclan
Date: 48/1/2733
Patient ID: 9583728
Lab notes: Ωτ28-J4-GKS-05
Presenting Complaint: Dental prosthetic insertion.
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Transcript:
[MUSIC: The Vesta Clinic Theme]
[SEC: typing on screen]
FAYE:
I’ve been trying!
[SOUND: Soupy XAELEST noises]
I’ve been trying.
[SEC: typing on screen]
We’re not alone in the room, Sec…
[SEC: affirmative ping, typing on screen]
I’ve tried to find a use for it, I don’t know how, Sec! It doesn’t work! I’ve tried plugging it into things? I’ve tried - don’t laugh - I’ve tried unlocking doors with it. I’ve tried waving it around in the pharmacy to see if anything happens. Nothing.
[SEC: typing on screen]
I haven’t - Rai is practically living down there and I’m - if you hadn’t noticed - pretty busy now that my boss is a nervous system soup.
[SOUND: Soupy XAELEST noises, fabric rustle]
I think she heard that . . . she’s gone maroon again.
[Louder] I mean: my boss and friend who I admire greatly is a nervous system soup.
[SOUND: Soupy XAELEST noises]
[SEC: typing on screen, questioning ping]
[Laugh] Blue-green.
[SEC: typing on screen]
I’m sorry, I don’t know what to do. The comms we found just has their medical notes on it. It . . . paints a timeline, but doesn’t tell me anything else. If Adrastos had written back, maybe we’d have more of an idea. I was thinking, though -
[SOUND: rushed footsteps, door opens, rushed footsteps, door closes]
DAKARAI
Faye! I have my flea!
FAYE
You have fleas?!
DAKARAI
No! My Flea!
FAYE
Your what?
DAKARAI
Flea! FLEA!! The anthophiloid!
FAYE
Oh! Flea! He’s here?!
DAKARAI
No! You’re not listening! Not ‘Flea’ Flea. My Flea. I have an adorable patient. I feel like I just drank four nitrobrews mid scarp-jump.
FAYE
Invigorating.
DAKARAI
I need to do my lab notes. Can I do my lab notes? [Gasp] I’ve just realised!
FAYE
What?
DAKARAI
Xael is here. But she can’t tell us off for things. Want to scan my head? I’ve always wanted to see what my brain looks like!
[SOUND: Soupy XAELEST noises]
FAYE
I dunno . . . She’d make us pay for it later. And she goes all stripy when I switch the scanner on. I can’t tell if it’s the radiation or . . . rage.
DAKARAI
[Laughs] How is she?
FAYE
Clinically fine. I’ve been getting a lot of that turquoise colour.
DAKARAI
Seafoam.
[SEC: affirmative ping]
FAYE
Whatever. She flashes green when I’m about to do something stupid - it’s kinda handy.
DAKARAI
Huh. Hi Xael, miss you lots!
[SOUND: Soupy XAELEST noises]
So, no head scan but . . . notes?
FAYE
Yeah - yeah. I wasn’t really doing anything so - yeah - go ahead.
[SEC: affirmative ping]
[SOUND: footsteps, chair]
DAKARAI
Okay! Hi, Sec!
[SEC: typing on screen]
Do you still have access to my lab notes folder?
[SEC: affirmative ping]
Wonderful. Fantastic. Could you open up my most recent one?
[SEC: file open]
Thank you.
Date: 48/1/2733
Patient: Grey Moon Low Horizon Kawsenclan
Patient ID: 9583728
Lab notes: Ωτ28-J4-GKS-05
Add tags: dental; prosthetic; alveolar mapping; silicex operating systems; adorable; the most adorable.
[SEC: typing on screen, questioning ping]
Yes, I would like to move that tag from June the mutant puppy to this patient.
[SEC: questioning ping, questioning ping]
I know, I know!
And! Tag it as: read when feeling sad.
FAYE
You read your lab notes when you’re feeling sad?
DAKARAI
Consistently. If you’re ever feeling low, I can pick you out a selection of my favourites. When Xael needs a little laugh she reads your letters.
FAYE
[Gasp-laugh] It’s not - Is that true?
[SOUND: Soupy XAELEST noises]
[SEC: typing on screen]
Sorry, pretend I’m not here.
[SEC: typing on screen]
DAKARAI
My patient today was a 25 Vesta year old sangvangi from -
FAYE
Really?
DAKARAI
Yeah!
FAYE
I’ve never met one.
DAKARAI
Neither had I!
FAYE
Are they . . . you know?
DAKARAI
What?
FAYE
Scary?
DAKARAI
That is not very culturally sensitive, Dr Underwood.
FAYE
No! No, I know. But . . . They drink blood, Rai!
[SOUND: Soupy XAELEST noises]
DAKARAI
Ethically sourced, laboratory grown blood-like “products”. Look, you’ve made Xael go emerald.
FAYE
Just because they do it ethically, doesn’t mean that they’ve lost the ability to do it unethically!
DAKARAI
Seriously?
FAYE
I know. I know. But I watched Dark Orbit Blood Letter as a kid and it scarred me for life.
DAKARAI
Earth horror. This is why I don’t watch Earth horror on my own.
[SEC: affirmative ping]
You need to meet Grey Moon Low Horizon, he’ll cure you.
[SOUND: bleep, zipper]
[SEC: questioning ping]
[SOUND: bleep buttons]
FAYE
Calyxy is requesting my assistance to help cannulate someone. Clearly they are such a handful that she can’t leave them alone to come ask…
DAKARAI
Uhoh.
FAYE
Ugh.
[SOUND: chair, zipper, footsteps]
If Calyxy can’t do it, I don’t know why she’s expecting me to be able to do it.
DAKARAI
I believe in you.
[SEC: typing on screen]
FAYE
Thanks for the support. Hopefully I won’t be too long.
[SOUND: door opening, footsteps, door closing]
DAKARAI
Still happy to help, Dr Sec?
[SEC: affirmative ping, typing on screen]
Okay! Well, the first thing of vital importance that I need to document is that Grey Moon and their partner were hanging upside down, asleep!! My heart melted when I saw the pair of them!
[SEC: typing on screen]
Hm. Good question. It feels like . . . to me, at least, like an overwhelming fondness that starts in the top of my chest and oozes down to the bottom of my ribs.
[SEC: typing on screen]
You think? What makes Sec’s heart melt?
[SEC: typing on screen]
Ohh, that’s so cute! I think the Prof slept so little that when they did fall asleep, waking up again was slightly traumatic.
Aw. Hearing about you being happy together makes my heart melt too. I’m gonna be a puddle on the -
Um.
What was I talking about?
[SEC: typing on screen]
Oh, yeah. Thanks.
I shouted my patient’s name from a respectable distance and they fell awake - quite literally. They dropped from the beam they were clinging on to and nearly took out Calyxy with the force of their hastily flapped wings. There was a second where I thought I was going to have to step in and smooth things over. You know, patients aren’t always as nice to Calyxy as they ought to be . . . but my guy folded their wings away with a stiffness that betrayed their age and offered such profuse but gentle apologies that Calyxy ended up apologising for being in the way!
Grey’s partner blinked awake in the kerfuffle and eased themself down to the floor in a slow creep.
I introduced myself to the elderly pair and watched their ears scan the room before pointing at me. A cloudy membrane covered Grey’s corneas, and I realised that asking them to simply follow me down to the lab would present an issue. We made quite the trio on our way down there, myself in the middle with one of each sangavangi’s wings over my shoulders like a warm, velvety cape.
Stars, I’m getting side-tracked already. Olympus’ sweaty mons, Faye actually makes this seem easy. Come on, Rai.
[SEC: typing on screen]
Of course, we have a professional in the room.
[SOUND: Soupy XAELEST noises]
Oh, I meant Sec, Xael. Sorry for disturbing you.
[SOUND: Soupy XAELEST noises]
Right. Grey and their partner had been travelling out around Neptune on one of those Silver Cruises.
[SEC: questioning ping]
Oh, they’re like . . . special holidays for older members of the community and whoever they might want to bring with them. I was - um - I actually was meant to go on one with my Grandad before I got ill. My brother went instead and won like 500 creds playing bingo, I was fuming.
[SEC: typing on screen, questioning ping]
Grey! Yes, sorry. Grey was enjoying their cruise up until the point where they unfortunately developed a dental abscess and required help from an emergency dentist.
[SEC: negative ping]
I AGREE. Unfortunately, out around Neptune they were not able to find a Sangvangi dental professional, or even a dentist with satisfactory interspecies experience. They did successfully treat the infection, but at the cost of several teeth. The dentist then referred Grey to us . . . well, to me, to see if there was anything we could offer from a reconstructive point of view.
Once I’d gotten the pair comfortable in the Lab’s interview room, I asked them what they understood about the purpose of their visit to the Clinic.
“Get out your list,” Grey’s partner, Rise Moon Zenith Kawsenclan - who preferred their name to be abbreviated to ‘Zen’ - insisted. “Don’t keep the nice doctor waiting!’
“So now, Doctor,” Grey’s filmy eyes struggled to meet mine, “I have this problem with my toe.”
[SEC: questioning ping]
Yeah. I had to quickly set them straight, explaining that I worked in the clinic in a research role only, though I was trained as a medical doctor. I - I told them that I used to practice medicine here but I was finding it hard to keep up due to some health problems. Research was my true love, really.
I don’t know why I told them that . . . I think it was Grey’s moustache. It looked kind.
[SEC: typing on screen, questioning ping]
No, they didn’t seem disappointed. They seemed worried that they’d offended me. They said it must have been a difficult decision. Zen told Grey to put the list away.
“You’ll have to excuse my partner.” Grey told me, voice slightly bubbly as he adjusted to his missing teeth. “They’re Martian. Very bossy.”
“I’m Martian, so be careful what you say!” I told them and the pair ruffled their large wings in Sangvangi amusement.
Um, so, they presented to the clinic to be fitted for dental prosthetics following a treated infection. I asked how Grey had been coping with the loss of his teeth. They told me that with their ageing body and poor eyesight, it’s all they can do to just about keep up with a hunt. Now they’ve lost their teeth too . . . They feel it’s shameful.
[SEC: typing on screen, questioning ping]
Oh, you need to forget everything Dr Underwood said right this second.
The word ‘hunt’ doesn’t exist in Sangvangi language, it’s just a word we use to describe their feeding patterns based on folklore from centuries ago! Those streams Faye was talking about were likely made by humans who had never visited Mars’ Northern territories and had no experience of Sangvangi ritual feeding!
[SEC: typing on screen, questioning ping]
Yeah! Yeah, play it!
[SEC: file open]
[SOUND: the video plays, people shouting and screaming, it sounds horrific]
Right. Yeah. It looks bad . . . But those humans and that thyreophoran are actually volunteers, being herded to a chosen spot where there’s a cache of lab-grown supplies! It’s . . . social, like a big family dinner. And, from what I understand, non-sangvangi pay good creds to be considered for selection.
[SOUND: banging and screaming, grunting pained noises, someone shouts ‘my neck!’]
[SEC: typing on screen, questioning ping]
Yes, please.
[SOUND: Video stops]
Thanks. Um. Grey and Zen have no offspring of their own, but live in what they describe as a ‘fantastic’ community of young sangvangi who always allow their elders the first bite of the bilibags at the end of the hunt.
Grey worries that it would be upsetting to the younger members of the group to see them so frail that they can no longer puncture the organic membranes of the bilibags.
On questioning, Grey denied pain in the oral cavity and was still able to take nutrition - Zen had been helping them. However, they were clearly experiencing a loss of dignity at being unable to contribute to the hunts in the same ways. This magnificent chap needed a new pair of gnashers.
[SEC: typing on screen, questioning ping]
I did examine them, thank you. I’m no dentist, but I had a poke around. Grey wiggled their flat, fleshy nose until jaws protruded forwards, past the pale ridge of their lips. There was a noticeable gap at the front, extending over to the right upper mandible.
The gums appeared healthy with no sign of infection. No redness, pain, pus, or friable tissue. Their anticoagulation glands appeared to be in good working order. When I poked them, the clear serum coated their unaffected left - uh - main fang and dripped freely from the gap in the right.
I unveiled the dental prosthesis I had made prior to their arrival using dental x-rays and the silicex agent suggested by the dentist. Grey and Zen rustled their wings in anticipation and their rust-coloured noseleaves snuffled at the unfamiliar new scent.
Grey unhinged their jaw where it hung, an impressive and - don’t tell Faye I said this - slightly intimidating distance from their face. I lined up the prosthetic and, uh . . .
[SEC: questioning ping]
It just didn’t fit. No matter how I tried to manoeuvre the moulded fangs between the sharp points of the existing ones, it was always an irritating few millimetres away from being perfect.
I was so disappointed! I must have done something wrong with the alveolar mapping . . . it’s not something I get to practise very often.
[SEC: typing on screen]
I know . . . I know. They’d just been telling me how much the absence of their teeth was affecting their life, though. Grey acted like it wasn’t a big deal but the slate frizz of their fur stood out on end and I clocked the way Zen’s wingclaw reached out to brush it flat.
I couldn’t bear the thought of sending them away. So, instead of doing the fifteen other things on my list that afternoon, I guided them both through the hiss of the Main Lab’s decontamination hub and into my humble abode so I could fix it right then and there.
It, um, was actually really nice to have people down there with me. I get it - Xael and Faye are busy enough and, you know, have other reasons why they might not want to be down there but . . . it can get lonely when it’s just me and the machines.
[SEC: typing on screen]
No, no! Sorry, I wasn’t trying to make you feel bad, you’re busy most of the time too and I - I completely understand why you don’t like being down there. It’s - um - it does get easier with time but . . . yeah. It’s hard not to think about what happened.
[SEC: affirmative ping]
With minimal prompting, Grey and Zen opened up to me about their life together. It was mainly Zen, really, Grey was focusing on holding their jaw perfectly still for the repeated measurements.
I ran the alveolar mapping again to a story about a community-wide game of Seekers gone awry. Grey got stuck on the roof of a bank, necessitating a shouting match between Zen and the drone security to prevent them getting arrested. Um, before it rubs off my hand: the adjacent apex-crown angles were 11, 14 and 10 degrees from medial to lateral and the average apex-crown length was 24mm. The right main fang was larger, of course, at 35mm, and I buffed the surface to a recap of their fateful cruise until I was sure that the anticoagulant would stick there as it should.
We were tense as I lined up the adjusted brace -
[SEC: questioning ping, questioning ping]
[SOUND: Doors open, footsteps, sudden stop]
FAYE
Rai?
[SOUND: footsteps, fabric rustle]
Rai?
DAKARAI
Hm? Oh, hi! Did you - uh - any success?
FAYE
Yes! But look at this!
[SEC: questioning ping]
DAKARAI
Ooouugh?
FAYE
Yeah! Xy was old enough to be able to cling to the ceiling, but young enough to get away with injecting toxins into xyr doctor without anyone being mad about it.
DAKARAI
Ouch! Ooh! Look! It’s got a head on it already!
FAYE
It really stings! I was so gentle too!
[SOUND: Soupy XAELEST noises]
Xyr aiya was meant to be keeping an eye on the stingers.
DAKARAI
Can I pop it?
[SOUND: Fabric rustle]
FAYE
No!
[SEC: negative pings, lots of them]
Do you think I’ll lose my arm? Look, look at that bit! Is that early necrosis? I don’t want to lose my arm, Rai, I have a whole clinic to run!
DAKARAI
Oh, stars. Yes. It looks serious to me.
[SEC: questioning ping]
[SOUND: gloopy distress from XAELEST]
FAYE
Xael?! Stars, what is she - ?
DAKARAI
Xael!
FAYE
Wait! Stop! It’s too soon for you to come out!
DAKARAI
Don’t lose your membrane, Xael!
[SOUND: footsteps]
FAYE
Xael, the patient is fine! I did it correctly!
[SOUND: ongoing gloopy noises]
DAKARAI
OH. She’s fine, Xael! It’s the smallest sting in the galaxy! There’s not even an associated haemorrhagic rash . . . But you will say if you do get one, won’t you, Faye.
FAYE
Yeah! Yeah of course I will!
[SOUND: glooping settles]
I would like to point out that it does really sting, though. It is sore.
DAKARAI
Go . . . steal some of Xael’s tea or something and stop being a tweep.
FAYE
Thank you for your sympathy. Um, make sure Dr Adra isn’t splattered on the walls when I get back, yeah?
[SEC: enthusiastic affirmative pinging]
DAKARAI
You got it, boss . . .
[SOUND: door opens, footsteps, door closes]
Don’t pop it without me!
[SEC: negative pings]
[Laugh] Where was I before that dramatic interruption?
[SEC: typing on screen]
I zoned out? Hm. I must have been recalling the procedure in a too-vivid trance. I should have asked Faye to get me a nitrobrew.
[SEC: negative ping]
[SOUND: Soupy XAELEST noises]
Pipe down! I haven’t even had one today. . . I think.
ANYWAY. The second set of fangs fit! If the prof ever hid a confetti grenade somewhere in here, now is the time to activate it, Sec.
[SEC: typing on screen]
Ah, well. Save it for Faye, I guess.
Grey was as excited to test their new gnashers as I was to see them in action. I got them to bite into a glove full of water as a test and narrowly avoided getting whopped by the delighted waft of their wings as it burst on contact.
I advised Grey to take regular breaks from the prosthetic but to try and gradually increase the length of use over the next few weeks. If the dentures start to rub, they might cause microabrasions on the gums and risk further infection. I suggested that they use some sangvangi-safe lubricant to prevent this and to contact us if it occurs.
I, uh, may have taken a quick look at their toe. . . and given them some antifungal cream. Via Calyxy. . .
Grey and Zen’s cruise will keep them in the area of the Clinic for the next ten-day, so I’ve booked them in for a review with Dr Underwood in seven sols to check the toothy pegs and officially review the very mild fungal infection on the toes.
Aaaand that’s everything. I really hope they work. Grey deserves all the happiness on Mars. Happy, Sec?
[SEC: affirmative ping]
Lots of love, Rai
[MUSIC: The Vesta Clinic Theme]
This episode of the Vesta Clinic was created by AMC. It starred AMC as Faye Underwood, Kamen Cooley Greene as Dakarai Solari and Sec as himself. Music by AMC and Ruby Campbell.
Please check out our show notes for content warnings, transcripts, and your prescription of: a mental health day.
If you enjoyed this episode and would like to help the show reach more ears, please tell someone who loves podcasts to check into the Vesta Clinic. You can also follow us on your social media of choice at @vestaclinicpod! A huge thank you to our Patreon supporters. We hope you enjoy this week’s bonus story and bloopers like this one:
Kamen: Kwassen? Kwassenclan?
AMC: [bad accent] Kwassenc-ah-n
Kamen: [Laughs, bad accent] Kwassenclan. Grey Moon Low Horizon Kwassenclan.
AMC: [Laughs] If you want
Kamen: No
AMC: You’re steering this thing
Kamen: I will respect his wishes and pronounce his name how he wishes to be addressed
Content Warnings: Bat-like creatures; blood drinking; xenophobia and racial stereotyping of an alien population and their culture; reference to character death; screaming; violent sound effects (with narration explaining that these are fake); dental care; reference to cannulation; reference to deceased character; sting injury
